i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was like eating out sand paper
my shit smells like andre
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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