Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
