On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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