You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
