that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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