I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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