I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
