My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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