and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
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Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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