Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
