so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize