you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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