I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
