You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
