im drinking this country out of the recession.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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