Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sober January is a disaster.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
