How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize