No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
