I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
