My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize