Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
