im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
