If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
