Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
pop tarts are not kleenex
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
