I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
