It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
