I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
