i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
