Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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