Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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