saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize