Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
