Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
