whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
