I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
