The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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