he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
