We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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