Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
