Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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