Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
