He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
