There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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