watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
