she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize