I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
