i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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