Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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