How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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