a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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