im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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