babies were throwing up all over the place
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
