Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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