dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
two words...techno handjob
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
