Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize