Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
