Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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