that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
