So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
