I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
