it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just got carded by a ten year old.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
