Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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