tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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