...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
