we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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