Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
