Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
