I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Randomize