Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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